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Lindsay Lohan
  1. 5 Years from now, the iPhone will still look the same basic way it did the day I bought it.
  2. The iPhone is fashionable. And thin.
  3. After a long night of partying, I could use Google Maps, on the iPhone to navigate me home safely. And when I wake up the next morning, iPhone won’t be hung over.
  4. I only have to pay for the iPhone once.
  5. It doesn’t matter where I touch the iPhone, it will only make happy noises.
  6. iPhone doesn’t have freckles. Or Herpes.
  7. If iPhone has a problem, it goes to Apple. Not rehab.
  8. iPhone looks good in low light or bright light.
  9. My iPhone will never have a coke problem.
  10. I can use my iPhone to lookup pictures of Lindsay Lohan before she was trash.
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